Remarriage Guidelines

As clergymembers shepherding individuals desiring marriage in our church, you will encounter individuals who have been previously married.  Mindful that these situations require pastoral sensitivity, we must also follow our canonical requirements in these matters.  Title I, Canon 18 "Of the Solemnization of Holy Matrimony", and Canon 19 "Of Regulations Respecting Holy Matrimony; Concerning Preservation of Marriage, Dissolution of Marriage, and Remarriage" provide the necessary guidelines.

 

Guidelines for Marriage After One Divorce

  1. In all cases where one or both of the persons seeking marriage have been divorced, use the form:  "Request to Solemnize the Marriage of Persons One or Both of Whom Have Been Divorced."
  2. The petitioning clergy person should include a letter with the request outlining the special circumstances of the remarriage and indicating that all the conditions required in these guidelines have been addressed.
  3. The priest making the application should have an ongoing pastoral relationship with one or both of the persons seeking remarriage.  Preferably they should be participating and supporting members of the congregation, or have the intention to become full members.
  4. Regarding the previous marriage(s) the following concerns should be addressed:
  • Our pastoral concern should be that the issues that ended the marriage have been addressed and that sufficient time has passed to grieve the previous  marriage(s). Generally, the appropriate time period is one year from the date of the filing for petition of divorce or six months after the date of the final divorce or annulment decree.
  • Obligations to the former spouse and/or children have been or are being fulfilled responsibly.
  • You should be assured that the new partner was not in any way party to or responsible for the break up of the previous marriage.
  • The person or persons seeking a second marriage must demonstrate that he/she brings strength and insight into this new relationship, and has a strong spiritual understanding of the Sacrament of Marriage.
  1. Certified copies of all final divorce or annulment decrees must accompany each application.
  2. Both parties must sign the Declaration of Intention required by Title I, Canon 18, Sec. 3(d) and a copy should accompany the request form.
  3. The priest applicant must be canonically or legally resident in the Diocese of San Diego.  Any judgment given by the bishop of another diocese must be submitted to Bishop Mathes for his reaffirmation.
  4. A date for the proposed marriage should not be set until permission has been obtained.  The bishop’s response to requests to solemnize such marriages will be made within three weeks.
  5. The proposed marriage ceremony should take place in Church, preferably within the context of the Holy Eucharist.  If an exception to this is to be made, please explain the reason for the decision.
  6. When consent is given, a response card will accompany the approval of the request.  This card must be returned to Bishop Mathes after the marriage is solemnized, indicating the date that the service was held and the place.

These guidelines should provide appropriate direction and clarity. Couples for whom these canonical provisions are required may be in a vulnerable place. They will no doubt have concerns about what may seem to be a legalistic process. While Bishop Mathes takes seriously his role in giving approval to clergy to solemnize these vows, he trusts clergy’s own pastoral heart to guide the clergy person. Please do not hesitate to contact Bishop Mathes directly if you have particular concerns.

 

Guidelines for Marriage After Two Divorces

Requests for remarriage after two divorces have taken place present special challenges to our pastoral sensitivity and care for others, and to the church's concern for the sanctity of the wedding vows.  The following policy is set forth with these concerns in mind.

 

Diocesan Policy Regarding Marriage after Two Divorces

Under special circumstances Bishop Mathes gives permission for persons to have their third marriage in an Episcopal Church.  These situations occur infrequently and usually are complex.  When clergy are presented with such requests, please contact Bishop Mathes directly to mutually determine how best to proceed.

In exercising this part of our ministry, please know that Bishop Mathes is most eager to support and assist you.  Do not hesitate to seek his counsel as you proceed. Contact Bishop Mathes, 619-481-5450.

 

For guidelines on marriage, click here.

For guidelines same-sex blessings, click here.